When did you stop loving me?
by NightLark
Summary: Prequel to The Hunter and the hound. Cassie's life before she runs away to Forks. Will contain abuse, violence and rape. May also contain spoilers.
1. Preface

-1**A/N: so this is the prequel to The Hunter and the hound. It basically details Cassie****'****s life before she ran away. I****'****ll include a few bits of when she was a little kid, but most of it will focus on the five months before Hunter and the hound. If you can provide me with a better title, please do.**

**I will try and keep spoilers to a minimum.**

March 1995

Rachel Smith

I wanted to fuck him like I'd never wanted anything else in my life. I wanted to run my hands through his silky gold hair, feel his firm muscles against my naked flesh. I was sure he wanted me too. I'd seen the way he watched me in my nurse uniform, seen him eyeing up the curves of my body. It was all a matter of waiting and watching.

But not for much longer.

Tonight we were both working the night shift. It was a Tuesday, so A&E wasn't likely to be as busy as it was on, for example, a Saturday. I watched from my desk as he headed for his office. I glanced at the stack of papers I had to deliver for him to sign. It was perfectly constructed.

I followed him down the corridor and knocked on the closed door to his office.

"Come in"

I entered. He smiled at me as always. He had a beautiful smile. So warm, so inviting.

"Ah, Rachel what can I do for you?"

"I've got these papers for you to sign. I've been trying to get them to you all day but matron iron-heart stopped me" he smiled at the ward nickname for the head nurse. She really did act like her heart was made of iron. No one knew why.

I leant over the desk to hand him the papers, giving him a nice shot of my cleavage. I heard him inhale sharply. I looked at him, feigning concern.

"Are you okay doctor? You seem…distracted" I smirked to myself.

"No I'm fine" Damn, he was better then I thought "Except for the fact that right now all I can think about is your tits" my head jerked up. Did he just say…?

He grabbed my hair and pulled my mouth against his in a feverish kiss. He rose from the chair and pressed his body against mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I was dimly aware of the sound of the lock being turned but that was it.

**May 1995**

"We can't keep doing this Rachel. I'm married and you know that I'm leaving next week!"

"I know that. As much as I don't want you to go I appreciate that you have to and I won't try to stop you. I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself into. Your wife means everything to you and I wouldn't want to break that"

"What will you do?"

"Carry on as if you'd never came here"

"Really?" his golden eyes pierced my soul. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I had to stay strong.

"Yes"

I couldn't tell him, though I wanted to. I couldn't tell him that I would feel like part of me had been ripped away. I couldn't tell him that I loved him, that at first I hadn't but now I did. And I definitely couldn't tell him about the positive reading on my pregnancy test this morning.


	2. second birthday

-1**A/N: in response to the questions I had, Rachel Blake (Cassie****'****s mother) had a brief relationship with mystery guy (it****'****s kind of obvious who he is but for those who don****'****t know and want it to be a surprise, the answer will show up in Hunter and hound. I do recommend reading that story first) while he was working in her hospital in the UK. In hunter and hound, Cassie is fifteen with no idea who her father is. I am rewriting the laws of vampire biology to suit my purposes.**

October 31st 1997

Rachel Blake

Today was Cassie's second birthday. We'd only celebrated Bella's fifth a few weeks ago. They were playing in the garden while Renee made a cake and I tried to feel useful. I didn't. I felt useless. I'd felt this way since Cassie was born. My daughter was going to grow up without a father. He didn't even know she existed and he never would!

Sometimes I hated him for leaving me, sometimes I felt he made the right choice. What hurt more then him leaving was the letters. I'd got one this morning.

"What's wrong, sis?" Renee asked. Five years since she'd left Forks but she still had her accent. I guess she'd never lose it. I was the same. When I lived in America for eight years, I didn't lose my English accent either. Our life had been complicated. First we'd lived in England (for ten years), then we moved to the states. After eight years, I moved back with my parents but Renee didn't. she stayed for another few years before coming to live with me. She was the only person I'd told about Cassie's father. The truth anyway. The other people I let gossip, knowing that none of them would be right and if they were I didn't care.

"Nothing"

"I know you. You're upset about something. What is it?" I didn't speak. Instead I went to the under stairs cupboard and pulled out the box. It was a shoe box but for me it was special. I placed it on the table.

"What's that?" she asked. I shrugged. Renee sighed and dusted off her floury hands. She gently prised open the box and stared at the contents.

Letters, photographs, souvenirs from him. Cassie's father.

"What is all this Rachel?"

"Just things"

"Yeah, about him! I thought you didn't want anyone to know? And unless you're planning on giving this stuff to Cassie when she gets older I have no idea why you kept it" I sighed, exasperated and fished out the most recent letter.

"Read it" I said. She read it aloud even though I already knew every word. I fought to block out the sweetly poisoned words. It was all too much.

"Mummy?" said Bella, coming in from the garden "Auntie Rachel?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Cassie fell into a bush. She's hurt herself" I looked up and I could see that Cassie was sobbing on the ground.

"I'll look after her Bella, don't worry"

"Okay. Is the cake almost ready?"

"Not really, but you can lick the bowl" I watched Renee and Bella. I felt so inadequate. They had it down to an art, but for me it was an uphill struggle.

I went out into the garden where Cassie sobbed. I tried to soothe her, to make her feel better but I didn't know the right thing to say.

"Cassie! Come and lick the bowl!" called Bella. Cassie leapt to her feet, injuries forgotten and rushed to Bella's side.

"You're not a useless mother" said Renee as I came in. she could always read my mind.

"I am" I sighed, resigning myself to the kitchen chair.

"No you're not. Cassie loves you and that's all that matters" she left the room to dress Bella and Cassie in their party outfits. I stayed, deep in thought.

Then the doorbell rang, a swarm of tiny toddlers dressed in Halloween outfits for Cassie's party. I wished I could just hide away but I couldn't. I had to at least act like a mum, even if I didn't feel like one.

**A/N: This will hopefully be the last chapter written in Rachel's POV. I don't like this POV because it's so damn depressing. I like depressing stuff but all she does is host a pity party. Also, this story is to be renamed 'When did you stop loving me?' when I post the next chapter. This is an advanced warning. If anyone has a better title suggestion let me know. I hate coming up with titles! Maybe I should hire someone to write my titles for me…**


	3. School days

-1**A/N: I am flying through Cassie's life because I want to get to the interesting stuff. I mean, she doesn't really do anything as a kid. So I decided the following chapters will have her first day at school, the day Bella leaves, her first boyfriend (emails to Bella), getting the two dogs, maybe some other stuff and then I will go to mum meets Richard. Is that okay with everyone? Does anyone have any requests for part of Cassie's past?**

September 7th 2000

Cassie Blake

"But I don't wanna go to school!" I screeched.

"Cassandra Blake, you are going to school!" said auntie Renee. Mummy was already at the hospital.

"But I don't wanna! It's scary! I won't know anyone!"

"You know Ashley and Fiona. And Bella will be there too"

"But she won't talk to me in front of her friends! I know she won't!"

"Course I will Cassie" said Bella, appearing at the bottom of the stairs in her little check dress "I'll look after you! I always do!"

"I still don't wanna go. It's scary"

"No it isn't Cassie. I was in the same class as you and the teacher is lovely! Don't worry, she'll look after you" I sulked on the stairs until I was hauled into the car. I hated the idea of school. I hated not being able to stay at home and play. I hated my blue and white dress. I muttered to myself in the car.

We reached the school but I sat stubbornly in the car. I didn't want to go! Auntie Renee picked me up and carried me into the school kicking and screaming.

"Oh dear me what is all this noise?" asked a old woman. I stuck my tongue out at her "I know you must be very scared about going to school for the first time but there is nothing to be scared about. I am Miss Abigail, your teacher. What do you like to do Cassie?"

"I like to dance" I said. She nodded and smiled.

"I like to dance too. I used to be a dancer myself"

"Really?"

"Yes. I have some pictures on my desk. Would you like to see?"

"Oh! Yes please!" I said. She took my hand and led me to her desk. There was a picture of a pretty woman in tights being held up by a man in tights.

"Is that you?"

"Yes. That was me when I performed Swan Lake. That was my partner"

"Was?"

"He's my husband now. We're both retired dancers but we teach classes. Would you like to learn to dance properly?"

"yes please!"

"And then Miss Abigail told us a story. And then we did some numbers. And then we drew pictures, and then we had free play. I played dress up with a girl called Louisa"

"What happened to Fiona and Ashley?"

"They wouldn't talk to me. Anyway, they wanted to play in the sand. I don't like sand. It gets in my nails" I told my mum that evening.

"So you had fun?"

"Yes! And mummy, Miss Abigail says she'll teach me to dance! I'm going to be a pretty ballerina just like her! Look! Watch me dance!" I jumped off the sofa and did a spin, before ending up in a dizzy heap on the floor.

"Oww" I muttered.

"Are you okay?" mummy asked.

"Yes mummy. Will you dance with me?"

"No. I'm tired. I'm going to bed"

"I'll dance with you Cassie" said Bella.

"Okay bells. But I will tell you what to do because I am very good at dancing" she smiled and spun me around. I saw mummy slip out of the room.

"Bella?"

"Yes Cassie?"

"Why is mummy always tired?"

"Because she works hard"

"But she doesn't play with me ever. Your mummy plays with you! But my mummy never plays!"

"She doesn't like games Cassie. That's all"

"I like games. And dancing. And cake"

"Me to"

"Cassie, it's time for bed!" called Auntie Renee.

"But I'm not tired!" I complained

"Bed now, Miss C"

"Come on Cassie, I'll read you a story" Bella said, taking my hand. I smiled happily. I loved it when Bella read to me. She made the words come alive.


	4. Dancing and fighting

-1January 1st 2001

Cassie Blake (age 5)

I was so nervous. Today was my first dance show. I couldn't wait. Mummy, Auntie Renee and Bella had all promised to come. I paced backstage.

"Calm down Cassie" said Miss Abigail "You'll be fine" I smiled and did a spin, letting my flimsy net skirt flair out.

"I can't wait!"

"I'm glad you're excited. You're on in a few minutes" I bounced up and down with excitement, stretching my legs.

"Time to go Cassie" I joined the line of girls, ready to go. We filled on. I peered into the audience and immediately spotted Bella and Auntie Renee in the front row but there was no sign of mummy. I closed my eyes to fight tears and carried on with my dance. She wasn't here. She hadn't come.

May 19th 2002

Cassie Blake (age 6)

I sat outside the school office. My eye was sore, my nose had blood dripping from it. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Have you been getting into fights again?" asked Miss Abigail, walking past. She wasn't my teacher anymore and I missed her. I nodded. She crouched down beside me.

"Who was it this time?"

"Jordan Bright. He called me names. My mummy is supposed to be coming to get me" she nodded and left. A little while later, Auntie Renee arrived.

"Where's mummy?" I asked.

"I'm afraid she couldn't get off work" she smiled regretfully and took my hand. She led me to the car and drove me home.

"Hey Cassie" said Bella, coming in "What actually happened?"

"Jordan called me a bastard" I didn't really know what that meant but I didn't like the sound of it.

"So you hit him?"

"No. I slapped him. Then she slapped me back. Then I punched her"

"Oh Cassie you shouldn't do that"

"Why? What's a bastard anyway?"

"I'm not sure. Let's ask my mummy" she led me downstairs to where Auntie Renee was watching TV.

"Hey mummy. What's a bastard?" Auntie Renee almost choked on her coffee.

"What? Why?"

"We want to know what a bastard is. Jordan called me a bastard" I said.

"Well…it's a very bad word. You should never use it" she told us.

"Yes but what does it mean?" Bella exclaimed.

"It means someone who's mummy and daddy aren't married" she explained. Bella nodded and we went to play.

I was crying in bed. Bella heard me and slipped out of her bed, into mine.

"What's wrong Cassie?"  
"Why don't I have a daddy? Everyone else I know has one. You have one even if he doesn't live with you"

"I don't know Cassie. But you don't need a daddy. You have me and Auntie Renee. We are worth one hundred dads" she said, cuddling me close. I fell asleep in her arms.


	5. Bye bye Bella

-1June 18th 2002

Cassie Blake (age 6)  


"Why do you have to go? Please don't go!" I pleaded with her desperately. Bella had tears on her cheek as she hugged me.

"I don't want to Cassie! Mummy says we have to" she paused. Upstairs Auntie Renee was shouting. She never shouted and it scared me.

"Why is Auntie Renee shouting?"

"I don't think she wants to go"

"Then we do you have to?" I said.

"I don't know Cassie. We're going back to America"

"To live with Uncle Charlie?" I asked, sitting on the end of the bed.

"No. We're living somewhere else. I don't know where"

"Will you come back?"

"Yes, I'll visit lots. And you can come and see us. All the time!" she smiled and hugged me again.

Rachel Smith

"You can't do this to me! You can't just abandon me and Cassie!"

"I'm not abandoning you! You can ring and email me"

"You are leaving me. If you wanted me to move out you could have said! You don't have to move to the fucking USA!"

"It's not about you"

"You're uprooting Bella"

"Bella needs to be near her father, the flights from the UK to Forks are ridiculous. Besides, I have my own life to live and I don't want to live it here!"

"How am I supposed to look after Cassie on my own?" she turned around and glared at me.

"I am not her mother! You are! So why don't you fucking act like it for once?" she shouted. I slapped her. She slapped me back.

"I'm leaving! Cassie is your daughter, your mistake. Now you need to take responsibility for your actions and look after her! She can visit in the holidays but you need to accept that you have a job to do as a parent. My flight's tomorrow morning. You have till then to accept it" she stormed out of the room.

Renee Smith

I'd never been so angry in my entire life. How could she accuse me of abandoning her when she had abandoned her own daughter. I'd cared for Bella and Cassie for six years. I loved her like a daughter, but I wasn't her mother! Rachel needed to accept that. So I was leaving.

I paused at the kid's room. They were curled up on Cassie's bed. Bella was asleep but Cassie's eyes were wide open. The room was dark and so was the hallway, I knew she couldn't see me but her eyes followed my movements. Despite how much I cared about her, I'd always been slightly unnerved by her. Her silver eyes were like shards of ice, piercing and cold. There was definitely something odd about her.

I smiled slightly and left. I had to leave her. I didn't want to but I would. I hoped I was doing the right thing.


	6. Cassie's puppies

-1July 6th 2003

Cassie Blake (age 7)

I gazed out of the window, so bored. Mummy had dropped me off at this holiday club, saying it would be fun. She was wrong. I wished Auntie Renee was still here. She always played with me and Bella in the holidays.

"Okay everyone, line up in partners" said the cheery lady who was looking after us. I stood up but didn't go with anyone. The kids here didn't like me. They were afraid of me.

We were going to an animal shelter today. I liked animals. I didn't have any pets but I looked after birds in the garden and the neighbourhood cats came round when they were hungry.

The bus journey felt really long but we got there and everyone started looking around. I got bored of the little animals, mice and hamsters. I wandered off towards the sound of barking. I liked dogs a lot.

I went into the room full of cages. The dogs barked at me. There was a woman at the other end, cleaning and feeding them. I walked over.

"Hi"

"Heya" she smiled. I knelt beside her. There were a group of puppies in the cage. They rushed over as I arrived.

"Wow, you're popular" she laughed.

"I like dogs" I said, reaching through the bars to stroke them.

"Do you want to go in with them?" she asked, smiling. I nodded. She unlocked the cage door and let me climb in with the puppies. I sat down and was immediately engulfed by the small furry balls. Two seemed to like me especially. They were German Shepherd puppies, one cream, the other dark.

"Who are these two?" I asked, picking one up.

"That's Scarlett and Buddy. Their owner tried to drown them" I hugged the cream puppy, Buddy, closer to me. I could bear the idea of anyone hurting them.

"Cassandra!" the lady came in "I've been looking everywhere for you! You're in serious trouble young lady! You don't just run off on your own" she grabbed my arm. The two puppies leapt forward, showing their sharp little baby teeth.

"Let me go" I said, quietly, glaring at her. She froze, her hand still on my arm.

"Let me go!" I said angrily. The lights flickered. She released me and stepped back. "Go away. I'm busy" I snapped. She backed away. I sat down and patted the two puppies. The animal woman hadn't noticed anything. She just smiled at me.

"They like you"

"I like them"

"You could adopt them. No one else will"

"Why?" I asked, stroking them.

"They don't get on well with people. They don't trust strangers"

"I'd love to adopt them! Can I take them home now?"

"You're with your school, honey. I don't think they'd let you take them. But if you come back tonight you can get your mum to fill out the paperwork, then they're yours" I smiled and nodded.

"PLEASE MUMMY! PLEASE LET ME GET A PUPPY! THEY WERE REALLY CUTE! Please, please, please!" I begged.

"I am not driving to some animal shelter in the middle of nowhere just so you can have a whiny fleabag. You want one, go yourself and get them"

"On my own?"

"Yeah. Just go away and stop bothering me" she shouted. I went to my room and lay on my bed. I wished Bella was here. Mummy was so mean. I wanted a puppy!

Wait…she said if I wanted one I had to go get it myself. So that's what I would do. I had money. I knew where the bus stop was.

I managed to get to the animal shelter on my second try. I got a bit lost the first time but I arrived just as the woman was closing.  
"Hi!" I said.  
"Hey sweetie"

"I came to get those two puppies"

"Where's your mum?"

"She's not here"

"You came by yourself? You're seven!"

"I can look after myself" I glared at her. She looked slightly stunned, then smiled.

"Come in. we'll get this paperwork filled in in no time"

I was playing with Scarlett and Buddy when mummy came in. she looked at me, then at the dogs.

"What the hell are they and why are they in my house?"

"They're my puppies"

"When did I say you could get dogs?"

"You said if I wanted dogs I could go get them myself, so I did. I love them and I'm keeping them" I said, firmly.


	7. Christmas trouble

-1December 24th 2007

Cassie Blake (age 12)

The doorbell rang. I rushed to answer it, my dogs yapping around my ankles. Bella stood there. She was different since I'd last seen her. She wasn't a kid anymore. She was a proper teenager. She even had proper boobs!

"Hey Bells!" I said, hugging her.

"Cassie!" she shrieked "oh my god, it's been so long!"

"Two years"

"Yeah. You've grown a lot"

"You too. Loving the figure" I said. She blushed and I laughed "Come on. I'll take you to your room"

"Same one as always right?"

"Yeah" I led her upstairs to our old bedroom. It was still exactly the same as when we were little (faded pink butterfly wallpaper) because mum said we didn't have the cash to repaint it. The only difference was my new bedding. well, it wasn't actually new. I'd just got hold of some white sheets and tie-dyed them.

"Nice" Bella commented.

"I got bored. Plus I spilt some stuff on my old ones"

"Your mum noticed yet?"

"No!" I scoffed "That would mean she'd have to enter my bedroom" we both laughed. Scarlett tried to jump onto the bed, missed and knocked over Bella's suitcase. She pretended to limp around for a bit before I threw a chew toy at her.

Bella flopped onto the bed and I lay next to her.

"So, you surviving?" she asked, seriously.

"Well…I'm doing okay. I actually got something to tell you"

"What?"

"I'm leaving" she bolted upright.

"What do you mean, you're leaving?" I sat up as well.

"I'm going to look for my dad"

"You don't know where he is! You don't even know his name Cassie!"

"I know he's American"

"How do you know that?"

"Mum got drunk the other night and blurted out about her brief 'romance' with a gorgeous American doctor. I figure it's my dad"

"But America is huge! You'll never find him without a picture or an address or something!"

"I'll find him"

"No. Your life is here! Promise me you won't go looking for him!" I looked away but she grabbed my cheek. "promise me Cassie"

"No!" I said.

December 26th 2007

Bella Swan (age 15)

All Christmas day I'd watched Cassie for any indication that she would leave but she was acting normal. When we went to bed that night she seemed perfectly happy.

Then I woke up in the middle of the night and she was gone. I immediately rushed to wake Aunt Rachel but she wouldn't move. I rang the police and they promised to find her. I paced anxiously as I watched the snow fall outside. It was freezing. She'd die if she was stuck out there too long. Her warm clothes were still in her bedroom. She was going to freeze.

Cassie Blake

I curled up in the snowdrift. Cold, tired and alone. I'd been walking for ages. Now my clothes were soaked, I was freezing and shivering. In the distance, blue lights were flashing. I heard voices calling my name, lights shining in my eyes.

Warm arms cradled me, carrying me away.

Bella Swan

The police returned, carrying Cassie. She was okay, just cold. I thanked them and put her in a warm bath, fully clothed.

"Why did you do it Cassie?" I asked.

"I just wanted to find him" she whispered.

"You don't need a father, you have a family"

"No I don't. my mum wishes I didn't exist. Aunt Renee ran off so she wouldn't have to look after me anymore"

"That's not true. Besides, they don't matter. You have me. I'll always look after you"


	8. First love

-1May 5th 2009

Cassie Blake (age 13)

I was sitting at my desk in English when the boy sat next to me.

"hi" he said.  
"Hi"

"I'm new here, do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked. I shook my head and smiled. He was cute. He had curly blonde hair and baby blue eyes. I liked him.

"My name's Daniel"

"Cassie"

"Nice to meet you" he smiled again.

The lesson went quickly and we were assigned a project to be completed as partners.

"So…partner?" he asked me.

"Sure"

"We should get together some time after school and work on it"

"Sounds good" I smiled shyly "But I can't do tonight"

"Why not?"

"I've got a swim practice"

"You swim? Me too! I was supposed to go for a test tonight to see if I can get on the school team"

"Then I'll see you there" I smiled and walked away. I really liked Daniel. He was very sweet and kind.

I swam quickly up and down the pool. The meet was over but I wanted to burn off my feelings the easiest way. Coach didn't mind me staying late as long as I didn't drown. As I surfaced at the end of the pool I heard a voice.

"Nice one" I heaved myself out onto the side and he sat next to me. I noticed he was only in his trunks and that he had a nice body.

"Hey Daniel. How'd the test go?"

"Pretty good. I got on the team"

"Hate to burst your bubble but it's not really that hard. I mean, I got on the team, right?"

"haha. I saw you swimming just then. You're very good. Maybe even as good as me"

"Now that sounds like a challenge" I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Two lengths. Loser has to buy dinner" I said.

"I hope you've got a lot of money on you" he said. I dived in and he followed. We thrashed furiously up and down the pool but he managed to slide in front of me and win.

"Damn!" I said as he helped me out of the pool.

"You asked for it" he said "But don't worry, I won't make you buy dinner"

"Why not? I lost"

"Yeah, but the guy always pays on the first date" I stared at him.

"Da…date?" I stammered.

"If you like?" his blue eyes begged me to say yes.

"Of course" I hugged him, accidentally knocking us both back in the water again.

**A/N: short chapter but that's just because I wanted to introduce Daniel. He won't be in here very long. Also, for those who are wondering when I'll get to the step brothers and everything, I figure you've got four or five chapters (maybe less) until Rachel meets Richard.**


	9. Dates and Heart break

-1**A/N: I am skipping the majority of the date because it would be rather boring, in my opinion. So I'll start at the beginning, skip through to the end.**

May 13th 2009

Cassie Blake (age 13)

I sat in front of my computer typing an email to Bella.

Hey Bells,

I wish you were here more then ever now. Tonight is my first proper date with Daniel (the dinner after the swimming pool incident doesn't count apparently, because it only lasted a little while. Neither do the study dates we've had because his sister was hanging around). We're going to see Zombieland at the cinema, and get something to eat. Right now I'm in crisis because I have no idea what to wear! I'm not asking for advice because I know you're less clothes conscious then I am (meaning, you know they exist and that you wear them).

Anyway, I'll let you know if anything fun happens!

Cassie! XXXX

I clicked send then returned to the mirror. The doorbell rang and I grimaced. My clothes would have to do. Daniel was here.

We pulled up outside my house, which was in darkness and Daniel walked me to the door.

"I had a really great time tonight" I said.

"I had fun too" he looked at me for a long time, then slowly moved forward and kissed me gently on the lips. When he pulled away, he smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow Cassie"

"Look forward to it" I went inside and went straight upstairs to my computer. I sent Bella a very short email.

BELLA!

HE KISSED ME!

XXXX

July 15th 2009

Cassie Blake (age 13)

THAT JERK! That complete and utter bastard! He broke up with me! And he didn't just break up! He was making out with my best friend! BASTARD! BASTARD! FUCKING BASTARD! I raged.

I grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper and started to scribble random images. After a while, I realised that I no longer felt mad. I actually felt…peaceful. I looked down at my paper. Wow. Did I draw that?

**A/N: short chapter I know**


	10. Emails with Bella

-1

January 18th 2010

Dear Cassie,

I am moving to Fork's to live with my dad. Mum and Phil want to travel and they can't do that with me, so I'm leaving. How are my favourite balls of fluff?

Bella XXX

Dear Bella,

Wow. That's a big. I hope I'll see you again soon. I'll have to visit. I haven't seen Charlie since I was ten.

Fluff balls are very good. Hyper active as always. They miss you too. You have to let me know how it goes in Forks. Tell me everything!

I wish I was with you.

Cassie XXX

January 19th 2010

Dear Cassie,

I've been in Fork's for a single day and already I'm regretting it. If I have to hear one more person say 'you are Isabella Swan aren't you' I will scream!

Of course, I can't tell anyone this except you. There was this boy today. He acted like he wanted to murder me.

Bella.

Dear Bella,

Relax. Everything will get better. That's what you told me anyway. Mum's out tonight. She's met this guy and she's going out on a date with him. He's called Richard and she keeps gushing about how brilliant he is. I've never met the guy but I hate him already.

Cassie. XOXOX

March 17th 2010

Dear Cassie,

It's official! I am now going out with Edward!

Bella XXXX

Dear Bella,

That guy you mentioned? The one who hates you?

Cassie

Dear Cassie,

He doesn't hate me. He LOVES me. Well, apparently he does anyway. He's taking me to meet his family tomorrow.

Bella

Dear Bella,

Wow, that's big. I hope it goes well. Ah *sigh* first mum, now you. I'm going to end up the only single person on this planet at this rate.

Cassie

Dear Cassie,

You'll meet someone special eventually. They've got to be extra special to be good enough for you. So Rachel's still with that guy, Richard? Have you met him yet?

Bella

Dear Bella,

No, I haven't and I don't ever want to! If I have to hear my mum gushing about how smart he is and how funny and how handsome I will tear my fucking ears off.

Cassie.

Dear Cassie.

HAHAHA! Tough break. Oh well, it won't last. It never does, right? Hang in there. Just a few more months until the holidays! You coming here or am I going there?

Bella XXX

Dear Bella,

I'd much rather go there but I don't think either is possible. Mum's got me on house arrest. She wants me to spend the holiday doing family things with Richard and his kids. All those years when I wanted to do family things she ignores me, the instant I want out she gets interested! What is up with the world?

Cassie XX


	11. Meet the family

-131st October 2010

Cassie Blake (15)

So today is my fifteenth birthday. Yippee! I'm really excited, can't you tell? And what am I doing to celebrate? Nothing cause I'm grounded for fighting again. Well, actually I lie I am doing something. I'm meeting my mum's 'boyfriend' Richard and his children. We're going to there's for dinner. Joy. Mum says I'm lucky she's letting me out at all after what happened, personally I'd rather be grounded. It's much more exciting and at least then I'd have my computer and music and I won't have to endure a bunch of boring conversations centred around Richard and his kids. And I wouldn't have to pretend to give a shit.

"CASSANDRA! HURRY UP!" My mum has recently developed this really annoying habit of calling me Cassandra which is stupid because I am Cassie. As I pointed out to her, it's only two syllables I'm sure she can remember it. And it's a hell of a lot easier to say then Cassandra. What a crappy name. Only my mum would think up something that lame.

"I'm coming!" I called back. My hopes that she'd just forget me where gone. Why does she suddenly remember me now when I wanted to be ignored? After all those other times where she ignored me?

I trudged down the stairs. Mum was waiting for me impatiently.

"What are you wearing?" she asked, eyeing my clothes with distaste.

"Clothes mum. You should try them sometime" I looked at her. She reminded me of a fucking prostitute and it looked like she had half of boot's make up counter smeared on her face. I, on the other hand, was wearing jeans and a green shirt.

"Don't take that tone with me madam. You're lucky you're coming out at all"

"Trust me, I'm not"

"Just shut up and get in the car" All during the drive I had to endure the inevitable lecture about my cheek and ungratefulness. Basically, that I should shut up and be happy that I was even being noticed. Thanks mum, I could work that out for myself, I don't need a three month long lecture about it.

We reached the house and mum rang the doorbell. A man answered. I guessed he was Richard and I immediately searched for the handsome/smart/witty/sophisticated man I'd been hearing about. Huh, not seeing it. He was average height, lean build with floppy brown hair and glasses. He reminded me of a psychiatrist, which is not a flattering comparison in my opinion.

"Hello Rachel!" he said, kissing her cheek "And this must be your daughter?" No shit Sherlock.  
"Yes, this is Cassandra"

"Cassie" I muttered to myself.

"Come in and meet the others" I knew mum had already met his kids. Her description was 'perfectly nice and sweet'. Vomit. Richard led us into the living room.

"Cassandra, I'd like you to meet my children. Mark, Leo and June" I looked at them. Mark and Leo were both about eighteen. Mark was had spiky dark hair and a short sleeved t-shirt, displaying his muscles, the classic jock look. Leo was leaner, his hair blonde and floppy. There was something unsettling about the pair of them. Perhaps it was the way they eyed me up. I felt like a piece of meat.

I turned my attention to the girl, June. She was younger then me, only thirteen. She had blonde hair like mine only hers was straw rather then honey or gold (people described my hair differently depending on the light) and it was pulled into neat plaits, tied with red ribbons. She wore a little checked skirt and white blouse. Everything about her screamed 'daddy's girl!' I wondered why the heck she dressed like a little girl when her brothers dressed like regular teenagers. I already knew that Richard was incredibly chauvinistic, expecting my mum to do all the housework and such. Perhaps he thought that his daughter was supposed to look pretty, be innocent and silent until the day she became a housewife? God I hoped he didn't try to make me. No way.

Anyway, June looked okay. A bit of a tattletale maybe but harmless enough. Not like those boys…

"Hello" I said, making an effort to be polite. I naturally was untrustful of people, I was probably just being paranoid I decided. We went into the dining room, which had an ajoining kitchen. I watched as June served the food (spaghetti) with no help from any of the boys. Ha, definitely a chauvinist.

"This looks wonderful June" my mum said. She would never say anything that nice to me.

"Thank you. I made it myself" I ignored my plate and sat back in my chair.  
"aren't you hungry Cassandra?" June asked. I glared at her.  
"It's Cassie. And no, I don't particularly want to die of food poisoning" Mum spluttered.

"Cassandra! My daughter is an exceptional cook. I believe that all women should learn to cook. My ex-wife taught her, and she was a professional chef" snapped Richard.

"Yippee for her"

"Cassie, apologise immediately"

"Sorry that I have a sense of self preservation" I said to June. She coughed, choking on spaghetti. It took me a second to realise that she was laughing. Wow, that was unexpected.

"If you can't be civil Cassandra, you can wait in the car" said mum, glaring at me in a way that plainly said 'screw this up for me and I will poison you myself'.

"It's okay Rachel. I know that this must be very upsetting for her. Now, I invited you both here tonight so that the children could meet as I hope we will be spending a lot of time together in the future" he got up and got down on one knee. I felt sick. Oh god, please no. please, please no!

"Rachel Smith. Will you marry me?" he pulled a ring box from his pocket.

"Oh Richard! Of course I will!" they embraced and kissed. I groaned quietly and looked away. Leo was staring at me.  
"What?" I muttered.  
"Nothing, just it looks like we'll be spending a lot of time together" he shared a smile with Mark. Okay, I was officially going to vomit. Richard got back up.

"So plans are to be made. First we need to find a new house, sort out the wedding. It's all going to be so perfect. The six of us together"

Fuck my life.


	12. Moving day and wedding bells

-1January 1st 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

It was finally here. The day I'd hoped would never arrive. The day me and mum were moving in with Richard. I'd been praying that they'd change their minds. I loved this house. I'd lived here my entire life. It was home. But I should have known, prayers don't work. I'd prayed Bella would come back, I'd prayed that mum would get sick of Richard, I'd prayed that Richard would get sick of mum, I'd prayed my dad would save me. None of those had happened. Why should this be any different?

I sat on the floor of my room. The bed was already in the moving van, along with the rest of the furniture. The only things that remained were the boxes I was supposed to be filling but hadn't. Mum came in, smiling. Her smile disappeared when she saw my stuff still scattered around the room.

"Honestly Cassie, hurry up! We're leaving soon"

"Good. Leave without me. I'll stay here"

"Now don't be stupid. Look, I'll help" she gathered my stuff up and shoved it in boxes, occasionally commenting that I should chuck something out or replace something. When she got to my clothes she frowned and put my jeans in the black bin bag of rubbish.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"You can't wear jeans!"

"I have for fifteen years! What changed?"

"I have! You've seen how June dresses"

"Like a freak?"

"Like a girl! You will too!" I snatched my jeans out and put them in my box.

"You're already making me leave my house to live with a family I hate! Now you want me to dress like one of them? Why not just kill me now?"

"Don't talk to me like that! We are extremely lucky! If you want think sacrifice, why don't you take your fucking fleabags to the shelter where they belong?"

"leave them out of this! There the only family I've got left!" she stormed out of the room, shouting over her shoulder "Anything not packed when we leave is going in the trash!" I knew she meant it so I reluctantly packed my bags. Then I sat in the corner, with my two dogs. Buddy whimpered. I patted his head.  
"Don't worry. I would never let her take you away. I promise"

When we got to the new house, for a second I was impressed. It was pretty big. Richard and co were already there and unpacking so I was left with the final bedroom (of course, the smallest). I was between June and Leo but I didn't care. I didn't want to be here so it didn't matter what my room looked like. My furniture was already there but it didn't make it seem homely. Even when I unpacked my stuff, the room felt wrong. It didn't smell right. My room smelt like cinnamon, hot chocolate and nail polish. This room smelt like wet paint. Yuck.

I lay out the dogs bed in the corner furthest from the door and went on my computer. I stuck my headphones in. hopefully, everyone would forget about me.

I typed out a long ranting email to Bella and felt slightly better. Of course I knew that worse was still to come. The wedding was tomorrow.

January 2nd 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

If one more person commented on how great June looked in her dress, then gave me that look that said I didn't look anywhere near as good I was going to punch someone. I didn't understand why weddings had to take so fucking long! First there was the waiting for the wedding to start (I was upstairs getting into my dress at this point), then there was the wedding itself, then there was the dinner and the speeches, then there was the party. I just wanted to go to bed which would have been easy, as the party was being held at our house but mum had insisted I be sociable. I wished Bella was there but she hadn't been able to come because Charlie had grounded her for disappearing for three days.

"Care to dance?" said a voice. I turned to see Leo. He looked very good in his suit but he reminded me of a snake or a chameleon, changing appearance to suit the mood doesn't mean he's changed who he is. I still didn't like Richard's sons. Or Richard. Or my mum.

"No thanks. I have better things to do, like admire road kill" I said. He grabbed my arm and dragged me onto the dance floor. I scowled but didn't protest. I mean what could 100 pounds of me do against 200 pounds of him? Especially as most of that was muscle. I let him make me dance, ignoring the fact that his hand was resting just a bit to low.

"Okay, I danced now can I go?" I said when the song ended.

"No. you can never leave" he said, laughing slightly. I backed away, creeped out. My mum wasn't around so I ran up to my room and locked myself in.


	13. Fall into darkness

-1March 25th 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

There was a knock at my door. That surprised me. Mum never bothered to come into my room, preferring to shout from downstairs when she wanted me. The boys just walked in.

"Come in" I said. June walked in.

"Hey Cassie" she was the only one who called me Cassie anymore.

"Hi, what's up?"

"Family meeting" I sighed. I hated that terminology. We weren't a family and we never would be!

"When?"

"Now. Dining room" I followed her downstairs and took my accustomed post, leaning against the wall by the door so I could make a quick escape.

"Ah, Cassandra. We, by which I mean your mother and I, have an announcement to make"

"You're getting a divorce?" I asked, hopefully. Mum glared at me.  
"No, we're going away for a while, on a honeymoon. You children are to remain here. Mark and Leo are in charge until we return"

"When do you leave?" Leo enquired.

"Two days time" mum said.

"Great" said Mark, smiling. I left the room, disgusted.

March 30th 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I was late. I'd meant to get back from school an hour ago but I'd been held up in the library doing my homework. I didn't enjoy homework but I knew it had to be done. The library was quieter then the house. Mark and Leo seemed to always have friends over, or they were playing on the Xbox. June normally played music really loudly so she could sing along (off-key) and dance (jump up and down, making the light fittings rattle). I had practically run back home because Richard called every day at exactly the same time and if I wasn't there, I'd get in trouble.

"Where have you been?" asked Mark when I came in. He was lounging on the sofa, but he rose as I walked past the living room.

"Hey! I'm talking to you! Where the fuck have you been?" he demanded, grabbing my arm.

"Library" I said, pulling away.

"Don't pull away from me bitch" he said, getting angrier. His nails dug into my arm. I kept struggling, his grip got tighter. I twisted and slapped him hard across the face. He let go of me, more out of shock then the force of my slap. I ran up the stairs. If I could just get to my room. Get to my room and I'd be safe.

I was almost there, my hand reaching for the handle when a pair of hands grabbed me by the waist and tugged me back. I staggered and fell to the floor. I looked up to see both Mark and Leo standing over me. Shit. This didn't look good.

"You don't run away from me!" growled Mark, pulling me to my feet. I tugged, trying to get free again. Leo wrapped his arms around my, holding me still.

"Let me go! Let me go! Please!" I screamed, tears pouring down my cheeks.

"No. You have been misbehaving and now you're in trouble" Mark said, scolding me like a naughty child. Leo didn't speak. He was the quiet one, that just scared me more then Mark's obvious aggression.

"What are you two doing?" asked June, sticking her head out of the bedroom door.

"Nothing sis. Just taking care of a little behavioural problem. No need to worry" Mark assured her.

"Well, can you at least keep it down? I'm trying to study" Mark smiled. It made me want to throw up.

"Sure thing sis. We'll try. Perhaps you should put some headphones in?" he suggested. I was desperately searching for a way out. Buddy was coming up the stairs and when he saw me he barked. The two boys looked over, temporarily distracted. I elbowed Leo in the ribs, broke free and started to run. I had to get out of the house.

I got to the stairs when someone made a grab for me. I tripped and fell, hopelessly reaching for something to grab onto. I tumbled down the stairs and lay in a broken heap at the bottom. My vision blurred and began to fade. I could dimly make out two figures.

"He told you not to run" said Leo before darkness consumed me.

April 1st 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I woke up in my bed. My arm was in plaster cast. June was sitting on the end of my bed.  
"Where am I? What time is it?"

"You're in your room. It's April 1st, you've been out for a while" she said

"What happened?" I asked.

"You fell down the stairs" I struggled to remember but my mind was blank.

"Why?"

"Because you were trying to get away from mark and Leo" suddenly everything came flooding back.

"You didn't help me. They were going to…" she took my hand.

"I need you to listen to me Cassie, okay? I've lived with them for thirteen years I know what they're like. To them, women are nothing more then objects. My dad's the same, which is why he used to expect me to cook and clean and remain silent. They'll go after you because you don't conform to that idea. As soon as they think you're ready they'll try again. You just have to close your eyes and move through"

"I don't know if I can do that"

"You'll have to" she left, leaving me to wonder. Would they really try it again? Really?

April 5th 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I was reading when Mark came into my room.

"Time for your punishment Cassandra"


	14. Strike one

-1**A/N: Rape in this chapter.**

April 5th 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

"Time for your punishment Cassandra"

I stared at him, petrified.  
"Punishment? For what?"

"For running. You disobeyed us, which isn't right. It would have been so much easier for you if you hadn't run" he moved towards me. I jumped off my bed, moving away. The bed was the only thing between us. Mark was blocking the exit. I was screwed.

"We can do this easy or hard Cassandra. Either way, the result will be the same…for me anyway. For you it's the difference between a few bruises or a broken leg" I didn't move. He sighed.

"June! I need you here!" June appeared at the doorway.  
"Yes Mark?" I stared at her, wondering if she'd ever been in this position.

"I want you to take Cassandra into the attic"

"Err…I'm…"

"Don't argue! Just do it!" he shouted. I saw fear flash across her face. She came over to me and took my arm. She dragged me to the door at the end of the hallway and pushed me inside.  
"I'm sorry" she whispered, shutting the door. I heard the lock click and looked around. There was a set of stairs which I guessed led to the attic. I headed upstairs, deciding it was better to go up there myself then be dragged there.

It was cold in the attic and dark. I shivered and started to search for a light switch but couldn't find one. I stumbled around, using my hands to guide me. There were boxes everywhere. I guessed they'd been left by the owners.

I heard the door downstairs open and I froze. They were coming to get me. I looked around for a place to hide but there was nowhere. I squeezed myself into the furthest corner and hoped they didn't see me.

"Cassandra!" called a quiet sing-song voice. I stiffened, trying not to breath too loudly.

"We know you're here Cassie" said Leo "It would be a lot easier if you just came out" I heard their footsteps on the creaking floorboards. I stiffened as the drew closer. A beam of torchlight hit my eyes and I let out a small gasp in shock. Leo's angelic face loomed out of the darkness at me.  
"Found you" he grabbed my hair and pulled me out of my hiding place.

"What have we told you about running away Cassandra?" Leo scolded me. He throw me to the ground. Mark pulled off his belt and tied my hands together.

"Leo, can I borrow yours too? For her mouth?"

"Why bother? The only person who'll hear is June and she doesn't care" Mark shrugged. He dragged me over to the middle of the room. Leo fetched a coat stand and hooked the belt around a loop so my arms were raised above my head.

"What are you going to do?" I asked, desperately twisting so that I could get free.

"We are going to show you exactly who is in charge around here" said Mark "And what will happen if you mess with us" he sat on top of one of the boxes and Leo came over. He was holding a small pocket knife in his hands and the expression on his face was scarier then anything I'd seen so far.  
"Do you know what this is Cassandra?" I was too scared to answer. He slapped me across the face.

"He's talking to you bitch! Answer!" snapped Mark.

"It's a knife"

"Well done, you're a genius. I am going to make it so that you will never run away from us again" his placed his hands on my shoulders, then they started a slow descent. He unbuttoned my shirt, slowly. His hands caressed my curves, tenderly. I imagined this was how a couple would treat each other.

He removed my shoes, socks and trousers next. I hung there in just my underwear, wishing I could cover myself. I felt tears on my cheek. Leo wiped them away.  
"Don't cry honey. It's not that bad" he got on his knees in front of me and lifted my bare foot "You know, in ancient Greece when people committed crimes their punishment fitted the crime. So if a person got caught stealing they'd have a hand chopped off" he trailed the edge of the knife over the sole of my foot. I tried to pull it up.

"now, now. This is never going to work if you don't stay still" he grabbed my foot again but I kicked him in the face. He took a deep breath, not getting mad and turned to Mark. They seemed to communicate without words. Mark came over to me and held my foot still. He was stronger then Leo and I couldn't pull free. Leo placed the knife on the ball of my foot and sliced across. I screamed in pain.

"Shh, little bird. We're just clipping your wings" he called. I struggled harder. My foot was slippery with blood, surely Mark couldn't hold on? My foot connected with the side of his face but the blood made it slip. He released my foot and grabbed the other, ignoring my pathetic attempts to escape. Leo sliced two lines in my foot in quick succession. I screamed again.

Leo released my feet and stood up, wiping the blood on his jeans.

"Now Cassie. You're not going to run away again, are you?" I looked away. He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. His fingers smelt like blood, copper and salt mixed with something else.

"Are you Cassie?" he repeated. I closed my eyes refusing to look. I felt a hand on my leg, moving to rest at the edge of my pants. My eyes shot open. Leo's blue eyes were fixed on mine "I'm waiting for an answer Cassie" I shook my head. "Good, cause you know what will happen if you do" Mark was pacing impatiently.  
"Can I have my turn now?" he sounded like a spoilt child who's friend wouldn't share with him. Leo backed away, leaving space for Mark to move. He unhooked me from the coat rack and threw me to the floor. I tried to crawl away but my feet wouldn't move and my arms were still tied together. Mark moved to kneel beside me. He roughly assaulted my chest, tearing my bra off my body. I started crying, knowing what was going to happen. What I'd tried to avoid, what I'd fallen down the stairs for. All was for nothing, it was going to happen.

His hands were everywhere, clawing at my skin like an animal. I tried as hard as I could to move away.

"No struggling Cassandra. It'll only end in tears. Yours" his voice hardened on the last word.

"Mark, please don't do this" I begged. He groaned.

"Whinge, whinge, whinge! Just shut up will you?"

"Please!" I cried out again. He hit me, hard.

"Shut up!" he ordered "Or I'll shut you up permanently!" I lay still, silent "Better" His hands went to my knickers and he pulled them off. I clamped my legs together but he forced them apart. He pulled his jeans off and his pants. I closed my eyes, cringing away. I wriggled my wrist, trying to get it free. I felt the belt stretch slightly. I pulled harder, hoping they wouldn't notice. I dared peek out of the corner of my eye and I saw they were both focused on the lower half of my body. Mark pulled me to my feet and pushed me against a wall. I kept trying to pull my hand free, rubbing the skin raw in my attempt. Mark's hands were on my waist.

"Do you know how long we've been planning this Cassandra? How long we've wanted to have your stubborn, stuck up body at our mercy?" I didn't answer, I was too busy trying to pull my hand free "well, since you obviously don't want to talk why don't we get on with the action instead?" before I had a chance to protest he had thrust himself into my virgin body. I screamed. Yes I'd heard from girls at school that your first time hurt but I never imagined it would be this painful. I screamed again as he pulled out and pushed back in again. Each thrust was agony. I hated it, hated the world for putting me in this position. I wanted to run but I couldn't. Even standing hurt tender feet.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a screamer!" laughed Leo as I let out another cry. Hot tears mingled with drying sweat. I stank, smelt like him. I tried to focus on something else, other then the pain. I had to focus, try to get out before they could do anything. Once again I tried to jerk my arm free and, joy of joys, it came out.

"Mark!" Leo warned, just as I slapped him across the face, digging my nails in so as to inflict as much damage as possible. Mark's face grew angry as he grabbed my flailing hand.

"you know what? I was going to be nice to you, but now I'm not. Give me the knife Leo!" he called. Leo handed him the knife and he pressed it into the palm of my hand.

"Make a single move against us and you loose a finger" he threatened. I could see he was deadly serious. I forced my mind to go numb, turn my body to stone. I let him violate me, over and over again until he finally finished and moved. I hoped they'd be done then but they weren't. Leo grabbed me and lay me on the floor. He placed his booted foot on my ankle and bent down, pressing the knife into my abdomen.

"You know anything about baseball, Cassandra?" he asked.

"no"

"Well, there's one really big thing about that sport I need you to remember. You get three strikes, then you're out" he carved a single line on my stomach "That little stunt was strike one"

**A/N: it took me a while to write this chapter because I wanted it to be…well, not good but emotional. I hope I managed because I put a lot of effort into it. If you have any suggestions for tortures, or things Cassie must suffer through, let me know. You will be credited in the chapter.**


	15. No way out

-1April 5th 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

They left me there, lying in the freezing attack clothed in only my blood. I lay on the floor, every part of me ached and burned simultaneously. The slaps I'd received where breaking through my carefully constructed barrier of numbness. I couldn't move, my legs were too badly hurt and my arms had been tied, once again, to the coat stand, the base of it this time. I lay where I was. I probably could have pulled my arms free if I'd tried hard enough but I was in too much pain. Besides, what would I do afterwards? I'd be stuck up here. They'd locked the attic door again. And I couldn't run away anywhere. They'd achieved what they'd wanted. I could barely walk, let alone run.

I didn't remember falling asleep but I must have done because I woke up. Someone was at my feet, bandaging them.

"Who's there?" I asked, flinching away from the contact.  
"You must have really pissed them off" said June's voice.

"June? Is that you?"

"No it's father Christmas" she said sarcastically. I tried to sit up but couldn't, so I slunk back down again. "So what happened Cassie?"

"Your brothers tied me up, cut me up, raped me and left" I said, flippantly "I guess I'm supposed to stay here until they decide I can leave"

"You can leave, they sent me up here to let you out" she said, untying my arms.

"How gracious of them" I said, sarcastically. I managed to stagger to my feet and I hobbled down the stairs. I rushed to my bedroom and locked myself in. I sank to the floor, fresh tears springing from my eyes. I managed to crawl to my bed and my hand searched the bedside table for my mobile, which I always left in exactly the same place. When my hand didn't come into contact with it, I sat up and looked over. No phone. I checked the floor around the bed, in case it had fallen off but there was still no phone. With a sense of panic I went to my computer and switched it on. Or rather I tried to switch it on. The screen stayed blank, no lights came on. I got down on my hands and knees, peering into the tangle of wires. They'd been cut. I got up and stared. My lines of communication had been cut. I was trapped, helpless.

**A/N: Really short chapter I know, especially when you had to wait ages for it. Sorry.**


	16. Hide and seek

-1April 19th 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I was hiding under my bed, barely breathing in case it alerted them to my presence. I was perfectly still. I could hear footsteps on the landing, slow and deliberate. Of course, I knew I shouldn't have run. Not after what happened last time but it was instinct. So when Leo had started touching me up, I'd hit him and run away. He had laughed, his voice echoing around the house as I searched desperately for a hiding place.

"Cassandra!" he called, his mocking sing-song voice sounding close even though I knew he wasn't nearby. I heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs and doors opening. He was searching each room methodically (although why he thought I'd be hiding in his or Mark's room was beyond me). He opened the door to my bedroom and I tensed as I heard floorboard creak. I could see his bare foot through the gap, edging towards my hiding place. My body was shaking with fear. He turned and began to leave. I let out a sigh of relief, instantly regretting it as I saw him still.

Slowly, he crouched down and peered into the gap. I recoiled instantly. He smiled and stuck a hand under, grabbing my hair and pulling me from my hiding place.

"What have I told you before about hiding Cassandra?" he didn't wait for me to answer, instead pulling me from the room, down the corridor. I was worried he was going to stick me back up in the attic but he halted at the bathroom door.

"in" he said, shoving me. I entered the bathroom. He locked the door behind me. "Undress" he ordered. I shook my head. He slapped me hard around the face, enough to knock me off my feet but I managed to stay standing. I tried to run but Leo hooked his arms around me, pressing against me. I tried to pull away, thrashing and screaming but he was too strong. One of his hands went to my throat and squeezed.  
"I'm going to kill you Cassandra. I will do it when you least expect it but know this, you will die at my hand, screaming in pain"

"Please…." I begged. He released me. I sunk to the floor, gasping.

"get up!" he snapped. When I didn't move he kicked me hard in the ribs. I struggled to my feet. I'd never seen Leo act like this. Mark was the violent one. Leo was always calm and precise. I'd never seen him stricken by such rage. "Now, take off your fucking clothes you whore!"

I did as he said, tearing my shirt as I frantically tried to remove the clothes before he could shout again. Soon I was standing in just my underwear.

"Do you…want me to take those off too?" I asked. He shook his head.

"keep them on. Now, come here" I moved so I was standing in front of him. He flicked the bath taps on and put the plug in. I didn't ask why. His hands reached up and traced the scar he'd carved last time.  
"You know what happens if you run away, don't you Cassandra?"  
"Strike two?" I asked, tentatively. He mused this for a minute before shaking his head.

"Not yet" he said. He pulled his knife from his pocket "Are you really that eager to get hurt again?"

"n…no" I stammered, petrified. The blade ghosted across my throat.

"On your knees" he ordered me. I sank to my knees. He undid his jeans and slid them down his legs.

"Please…" I whispered. He put a finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Did I say you could talk?" I shook my head "Well, let's put that overactive mouth to good use. I want you to suck me off"

"I've never…I don't know…"

"Don't worry Cassie, I'll help you" I honestly didn't get Leo. Half the time he was threatening me, the other half he was treating me like he was my boyfriend. He tugged off his pants. "Open your mouth" I shook my head. He slapped me hard around the face. "Do it Cassie, now" I reluctantly opened my mouth and he guided it onto his cock. Gross. He wound a hand into my hair and guided my head forwards and backwards. This was disgusting. I almost gagged when he pushed too far.

It seemed to go on for an age but eventually he came in my mouth. I moved to spit it out but he hit me. I swallowed, shuddering.

He pulled on his trousers again.

"Stand, hands on the edge of the bath" he told me. I did so, worriedly. He moved behind me and I wondered what he was going to do now. I felt a sharp sting, alerting me that the knife was being used. I felt warm blood on my back. He cut a few more times, or at least it felt like that, then he moved away. I hoped that it would be over.  
I felt something like damp cotton being rubbed across my skin. Whenever it contacted my flesh, it burned. I screamed when he trailed it across my cuts.  
"AHH!"

"Shut it!" he grabbed my head and shoved it into the bathwater. I thrashed there for a minute before he pulled me out again. He continued trailing the chemical covered fabric over my skin, relishing in my hisses of pain. Whenever he touched my tender cuts, I would scream and he would dunk my head.

"Have you had enough Cassandra?" he asked, suddenly "Do you want me to stop?" I nodded frantically.

"Please Leo…please don't do this to me" he seemed to be considering for a minute.  
"Okay" my heart leapt. He was actually letting me go? I heard him putting the tissue down and start towards the door. I began to move from my uncomfortable position over the bath when something hard knocked me in the face. The shock and pain made me fall to the floor. I locked up to see Leo standing there, fury clear on his face once again.

"I never told you to move!" he snarled, grabbing my hair "MARK! JUNE! GET IN HERE NOW!" June appeared at the door, and then Mark. "I need your help with a little discipline training" he said. Mark grinned and nodded. June looked uneasy.

"Mark, take her head. June, get the bottle"

"Leo…she's had enough. Can't you let it go for today. She's learnt her lesson. Haven't you Cassie?" I wasn't sure what lesson I was supposed to be learning but I nodded. Leo rounded on his little sister.  
"I. Said. Get. The. Bottle" June fetched the bottle of chemicals from under the skin. Mark pressed his hands on my head, almost choking me on the rim of the bath.

"You won't make a noise Cassandra" Leo warning. June came round and help my arms to the side. Her expression was a blatant apology of what she was about to do. Every sound was heightened by my fear. I heard Leo unscrewing the bottles and then…

"AHHH!" I screamed louder then I'd ever screamed before as Leo tipped the chemicals onto my back. Mark pressed my head into the water, cutting off my scream. I was pulled out.

"Not good enough Cassandra!" snapped Leo. Mark laughed. I waited, and then more was poured onto me.  
"AHHH! FUCK!" my head was unceremoniously dunked under, then pulled out again.

"Last chance Cassie!"

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed. Head down, water rushed down my throat, filling my lungs. I couldn't breathe, couldn't scream. I thrashed desperately at the unified grips holding me but couldn't get free. My lungs were screaming out for oxygen that I couldn't give. Everything was fading black…

**A/N: no, she's not dead (or Hunter and the hound would never have happened. She just passed out). What did we think of that torture? No one suggested any so I had to be innovative. **


	17. Guests and surrender

-127th April 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

"CASSANDRA! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE YOU FUCKING LAZY BITCH!" a voice shouted up the stairs at me. It was Mark, I could tell. Leo never shouted, except for that one time. That was actually scarier, because you could never tell what he was thinking.

I reluctantly left the safety of my room and walked slowly down the stairs. Mark was standing at the bottom.

"Yes?"

"You took your fucking time!" he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the sitting room. There were three guys in there, Leo and two strangers, and two girls all drinking beer.

"Oh, you found her at last then?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow "Took you long enough"

"Good things come to those who wait. Who wants first go?" Mark said, looking around "Carl how about you?" the one I guessed was Carl, looked me up and down. He had tousled black hair and dimples. He looked like the kind of guy who every mother loved, who'd be nice to your siblings and pets when he came and visited at your house. He had a slow lazy smile that chilled me to the bone.

"Sure thing" he reached out for me. I knew better then to move but I couldn't help myself. It was instinct. Fight or flight. I was a fighter. Most of the time.

I pulled away but he grabbed me.

"Naughty, naughty" he scolded, mocking me. He pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him. I could feel his erection through the denim of his jeans. I felt hot tears on my cheek.

"What's wrong sweetie? If I didn't know any better I'd almost think you didn't like spending time with me" he laughed.

"Take it upstairs Carl" said Leo "Not everyone wants to see you" this was accompanied by general laughter from the group. Carl dragged me upstairs, heading into my room. He threw me onto the bed and climbed onto. He began to kiss me, hard bruising kisses. I desperately tried to push him away but in the end I just gave up. What was the point?

I lay there, limp as a corpse as he undressed us. I didn't move as he thrust into me and violated me with wild abandon. When he swore, called me names and said I was the worst lay he'd ever had, I didn't react. Only when he left did I cry. Not just for the pain I'd endured but for the fact that my bedroom, my haven was ruined. He'd stolen the one place I felt slightly safe.

29th April 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

"YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" Mark shouted at me, slamming my head against the bathroom mirror. I winced as it cracked. Shards rained down on me. Mark dropped me to the floor.  
"Clean this up!" he snapped, marching out the room. I couldn't even remember what I'd done wrong, something to do with the laundry but I didn't know what. It wasn't as if he even needed a reason, he was in a bad mood and he would have done it anyway. I sighed and began to clear up the broken mirror. Seven years bad luck. Ha. I picked up the largest shard, turning it over in my hands. It was wicked sharp, sharper then Leo's knife. I ran my finger along the edge. It cut through easily. I watched my blood running along my finger. I made my decision. I ran a bath, locked the door and climbed into the tub, fully clothed. I held a wrist out in front of me and slowly, deliberately, cut. The blood flowed slowly at first but gradually began to speed up. I swapped hands and repeated the action on the other wrist. I lowered my arms, letting them slip under the water. I rested my head against the edge of the tub and closed my eyes. I was tired of this, I just wanted to stop.

**later**  


The door burst open and June came in.

"Cassie!" she said. She pulled my limp body from the bathtub "Oh crap, what have you done?" I almost collapsed to the floor but she held me up. She propped me up against the toilet and rushed to get bandages. She bandaged up my arms.

"God Cassie, why would you try to kill yourself?"

"Tired of being here…can't do it anymore" she put a hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at her.  
"Cassie, trust me. I know it seems like things can't get any better but they will. Mark and Leo are going to leave soon for uni! They can't stay here forever. Just…survive for a bit longer"

"I don't want to" I muttered.

"Cassie, look. If they find out that you're suicidal they'll have won. And then they'll make your life twice as bad, trust me on that" she helped me up and carried me to my bed. I lay there, thinking about what she said.

2nd May 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I was heading downstairs to get some food when I saw Leo. Crap. I contemplated turning back and hiding in my room again. Yeah, that was the right idea. Leo grabbed me by the wrist as I attempted to dodge past. I wished Scarlett was here with me. She'd rip him apart. But she was locked in the kitchen with Buddy.

I winced as his hands brushed the tender spot on my wrist. He gave me a curious look.

"What happened to your wrist?" he said. I shook my head. He squeezed it tightly. I screamed.

He shoved me against the wall, holding me there with his body as he stretched out my arm. He tore off the plaster I was wearing to cover the scars.

"Well, well, well. You been taking up wrist slitting Cassandra?" he asked, using my full name, the way his dad did.

"No!"

"So…why do you have a scar on your wrists?"

"I cut myself. By accident. On the broken mirror. When Mark slammed my head on it" he released my wrist and pressed his hand to my throat.

"Mark did no such thing you little liar. He has never touched you in your life" it was the old lie. The one I was forced to recite everyday of my shit heap of a life.

"Say it" he hissed, his mouth against my ear "Say it now"

"Mark never touched me. I tripped. I was clumsy. I'm sorry" he nodded.

"That's better. Now if you ever cut yourself again, I will get the kitchen knife and I was cut every inch of your body" the way he said it scared me the most. Not loudly, not angrily. Just, calmly and quietly stating a fact. I knew he was serious.


	18. Strike two

-16th May 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

Could it be said that I was actually in a good mood? No, but I was in an optimistic one. Today was the day mum and Richard got back from their honeymoon. Today was the day that I'd finally be able to expose Leo and Mark, get out of this hell hole!

"You look happy" remarked Leo as I skipped into the kitchen. I stopped, not expecting him to be there. "Why?"

"Because today is the day I finally get away from you and your sicko brother" I said. He took a step towards me.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. My mum's never going to stay here with two rapists and torturers in the family" he folded his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"We'll see. You underestimate our powers of persuasion" he turned and left the room. I sighed and ate my breakfast. June came in, looking nervous.  
"What's up June?"

"I need to talk to you"

"Okay, talk"

"I know what you're going to do and I want to stop you"

"Stop me?"

"Yes. You're going to tell your mum what Mark and Leo have been doing. I'm warning you not to"

"Why?"

"Because she's not going to believe you. I know you have scars and bruises but Mark and Leo are skilled liars. So is my dad. They'll cover it up"

"Wait…your dad knows what they do?"

"Yes. He doesn't care. If you tell, they'll just make it a thousand times worse for you! I know these things Cassie. I warned you what they'd do if they found out you were suicidal. I warned you about running. I know what they'll do if you try and get them into trouble. What they've been doing to you now will seem pathetic because they'll make it a thousand times worse!" she was on the verge of saying something else when I heard the front door opening.  
"We're back!" June shot me a pleading look before leaving. I stood there, considering for a moment. There had been times in the past when I'd told my mum stuff and she hadn't believed me. In fact, my whole life she'd never listened to me. Why would she start now? But then I had to hope that she'd be able to tell when something was wrong. I was her daughter! Surely she'd know that I was being honest.

I had to risk it. I darted out of the kitchen, to the hallway where mum and Richard were.

"Mum! I have to tell you something!"

"Can't it wait?" she sighed "I want to tell you kids all about our honeymoon"

"As much as I would love to hear the details about how you fucked each other every day in various places around the hotel, this is more important okay?"

"Cassandra! Don't speak to your mother like that" Richard snapped.

"Number one, my name is Cassie. Number two, you're not my dad or anything to do with me so I don't give a crap what you say to me and number three, your dirt bag sons have been raping and tormenting me!" there I'd said it. The look on my mum's face turned to horror. Good, she believed me.

She slapped my hard across the face.

"How dare you accuse Mark and Leo of that? That's horrible you nasty little cow!" okay, apparently she didn't believe me.

"Me? Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black! You don't give a shit about anyone except yourself! I've never asked you for anything mum but this one time I'm asking you to believe me over the lies that this twat and his maniac sons are spewing! I'm your daughter! You're supposed to care about me but I know that you could walk in on me with a gun held to my head and you wouldn't care so long as I don't ruin your fucking perfect life!" I turned and ran up the stairs to my bedroom, throwing myself onto the bed. Why couldn't she ever pick me? Because I was the bastard child forced on her. I'd heard it before.

The door opened and I looked up to see Mark and Leo. Their expressions were furious and bemused, respectively. They approached and Mark pinned me down. Leo pulled his knife out of his pocket, and tugged open my shirt. The scar from my strike one as Leo put stood out lividly against my pale skin.

"Strike two Cassie. One more and you're out" he said, carving a second line next to the first.


	19. Final straw

-117th May 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I sat on the edge of the bridge, looking down at the motorway beneath me. Scarlett was sat at my side, Buddy on the other side. My legs swung in the cool breeze. It was late, the sky was getting dark and I knew I'd be in for a load of shit when I made it home but I didn't care. Because I didn't intend to go home. I was here because I wanted to make the choice. Was there anything in my life worth salvaging? No. and this time there was no one to stop me.

I got to my feet and tied my dogs to the railings. I stood on the edge of the bridge and pictured it in my mind.

_I took a step forward. The air rushed around me as I fell. I heard screams, loud and piercing but they still seemed distant. I was cut off from the world. Nothing could hurt me here in my perfect reality._

_Then I hit the ground and pain shot through every section of my body. It didn't last long. The pain faded into numbness as the world disappeared._

I opened my eyes. I was still standing there, as I had been for the past five minutes, unable to move. I wasn't sure why I was so reluctant to end my life, since most likely Mark and Leo would end it pretty soon. As soon as I reached strike three.

I sighed and untied the dogs.  
"Not today" was all I said, before I started home.

19th May 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

I was rooting through my mum's wardrobe, looking for a hiding place in case of emergency's when I accidentally knocked a shoe of a pile and created an avalanche. Great, now I had to tidy up. I was sorting through the stuff when I unearthed a shoe box. I opened it.

"Oh my god" I muttered to myself. Inside were piles of letters and photographs and a diary. Ordinarily they wouldn't mean anything to me but when I saw the date I realised. I had to make certain so I flicked through the diary. A few entries in I was certain. I'd lucked out and found a box of stuff that were connected to my father! The father I'd never known! And I sure as hell wasn't going to waste it.

I smuggled the box out of the room. This stuff could help me get an address, help me find him! Yes!

I returned to clean up the mess I'd made. I was bending over when someone grabbed me round the waste. I screamed but a firm hand clamped over my mouth.

"Say one word and you're dead" hissed Mark. He spun me around, eyes raking over my body "God you make me horny"

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. So did Mark. He shoved me in the wardrobe, came in and shut the door behind us. His hand stayed firmly placed over my mouth so I couldn't scream.

I could just see my mum and Richard coming in through the tiny gap Mark had left. Oh please…no.

Of course, my prayers go unanswered. My mum stripped off and so did Richard. They started to fuck wildly on the bed. Mark was watching too and I could feel him getting harder behind me. Pervert.

He pressed me against the wall, pushed up my skirt and slid down his jeans. He thrust into me, pushing me harder against the wall. He seemed to be timing it with his dad, so that every thrust was synchronized. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself crying out in pain. It started to bleed.

They finished up and Mark followed close behind. Mum left the bedroom but Richard didn't. he sauntered over to the wardrobe and opened the door. Mark had pulled up his trousers and was smirking. Neither of them spoke, just exchanged grins. I pushed past them both and rushed into my bedroom.

I sat on the bed and stared at the cardboard box. My eyes grazed over to come to rest on a photo of me and Bella. Bella…she'd believe me. She'd help me. If she was here.

I had no way of contacting her, thanks to Leo and Mark…but I knew where she lived.

"Yes" I said to myself "I'm getting out of here"


	20. Leaving

-120th May 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

Today was the day. I was leaving, getting away from this fucked up life. I woke early and emptied my school bag on my bed. Well, I wasn't going to be needing that shit. I shoved the shoebox into my bag and covered it with clothes. Buddy and Scarlett were watching me with interest.

"Yes. We're leaving" I whispered, bending to fondle their ears. Scarlett barked happily. I shushed her. I dived under my bed and found my box of money. I'd been saving for years. Hopefully I had enough for a ticket to Washington.

Scarlett barked again and scratched at the door. I looked and saw that a envelope had been slid underneath. I picked it up and opened it. Inside was a wad of cash and a letter.

Dear Cassie,  
I overheard you last night (really need to be more careful by the way). I wish I could come with you, but that would definitely prompt a search party. I hope this gift helps you get where you need to be and you find a new life. Maybe you can come back for me later?  
Love  
June XXX

I smiled and stuck the cash into my pocket. The next bit was going to be the hardest. I had to act normal or people would get suspicious. And by people, I meant Leo and Mark.

I ate breakfast and put Buddy and Scarlett in the back garden.

"okay you two, as soon as you can, head for my school. Meet me there, okay?" they barked to show they understood. I nodded and smiled, then headed off to school. I wished that mum and Richard where still on honeymoon because then I'd be getting the bus but Richard insisted on dropping all of us off and our respective schools, like toddlers.

I went to school, waited for the car to disappear. The second it did, I dashed out of the gates. Scarlett and Buddy were already patiently waiting (smart dogs). I went to the nearest public toilets and changed my clothes, so that I wouldn't look so conspicuous. I knew that there was a coach that went straight to the airport. If I could get on it, I was safe. I also needed to make sure that the school didn't call my mum so I went to a pay phone and used some of my precious money to ring in sick.

There, I was covered.

Now I just had to get to the coach.

I ran across town, dodging traffic and managed to make it there in time. I bought a ticket and climbed on board. The driver gave my dogs a look but I promised him that they'd behave. We took a seat at the back and drove off.

*****Plane lands (Don't ask how the dogs got on the plane, I don't know)*****

We landed in Seattle. I didn't have enough money for the little plane to Port Angeles so I was getting the bus. It would be a long ride. I settled down to wait.

**A/N: one more chapter. I know this one was short, sorry.**


	21. Forks

-1**A/N: I got a bunch of reviews saying 'no! We need more chapters! Argh!' Hate to disappoint people but this was only a prequel so we all know how it's going to end. So, sorry, but this is the last chapter.**

20th May 2011

Cassie Blake (age 15)

The bus pulled up at a stop. I was staring intently at a photo I'd dug out of the shoebox. Buddy whined, jerking me back into reality. I tucked the photo into my bag and patted Buddy's head. He placed his front paws on my knees. I absentmindedly stroked him, resting my head against the bus window.

"Fork's bus station!" shouted the driver. I grabbed my rucksack from the seat next to me, pulled gently on the leads wrapped around my wrist and headed to the door.

"Hey are you sure you want this place kid? It's a bit of a dead end" the bus driver asked. I nodded, almost bouncing up and down with excitement. I was here. I was safe.

"Yeah, this is it. Thanks" I disembarked quickly before the driver could try and be helpful anymore. I waited for the bus to leave before doing anything else. A quick glance around confirmed the driver's comment. It was a dead end. I remembered it from my few visits up here. Nothing had changed.

I sat on a nearby bench and unclipped the dogs. They were wagging their tails, glad to be off the cramped bus that we'd been riding for hours. I knew that my next step needed to be to go to Bella's house. Problem was, I couldn't remember where it was. It had been years since I'd last been here. For all I knew, Charlie had moved.

"You okay?" asked a voice. I looked up to see a car, the driver a boy with blonde hair, gelled into careful spikes. He was watching me, waiting expectantly for me to speak.

"I'm fine. I was wondering…do you know where Isabella Swan lives?" I asked. I figured that in a town this small, it was likely that he knew where she lived.

"Bella? Yeah, of course. I know everyone. Do you need a ride to her place?" no way. I did not trust guys anymore. The more innocent they looked, the more evil they were. No way was I taking a lift from him!

"No, I like walking. I just need directions"

"You sure? It's on my way"

"I just got off a bus for the first time in ages, I need to stretch my legs" I lied. The boy shrugged and gave me directions.

"Thank" I waited for him to drive off but he didn't.

"What's your name anyway?"

"Cassie Blake. You?"

"Mike Newton. Are you a friend of Bella's?"

"I'm her cousin"

"Wow, I didn't know she had a cousin"

"We're not super close" I wanted to hit this boy or run but I knew I couldn't. I took a deep breath and forced myself to remain calm.

"You're from…England?"

"Yeah"

"Cool. What type of weather do you get over there?" I groaned internally. Why couldn't this guy just take a hint and leave? Did I have to spell it out to him?

"The same you get anywhere. Rain, sun, clouds. The usual" he stared at me blankly, not understanding my humour. I sighed and stood up.

"It was nice to meet you but I've got to go"

"Oh yeah. Probably see you around sometime" he smiled and drove off. I waited until he was out of sight before muttering to myself "Well he is really annoying" I turned to where her dogs were sitting patiently.

"Come on Buddy, Scarlett. We've got to get moving" I whistled and they fell into step behind me.

"When we get to Bella's house, she'll be really pleased to see you and we can have something nice to eat" so far, they'd only eaten a hot dog I bought at a gas station on the way up. Scarlett barked happily and Buddy wagged his tail.

It didn't take long to find the house described by Mike Newton. There was a truck parked in the driveway but no one answered the door when I rang. So I sat on the doorstep to wait.

Scarlett woofed impatiently at me. I stroked her soft fur.

"It's okay girl. She'll be here soon. I hope"

A car pulled up in the drive. I could hear laughter. I squinted into the darkness. Bella was here. Show time!

**A/N: That's all folks. If you haven't already, go read Hunter and The hound which is the sequel, followed by Time Is running out.**


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